


Fate Misnamed

by Rolly_chan



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Fluff, Fluff and Angst, LLF Comment Project, Light Angst, M/M, Soulmate-Identifying Timers, now also with a guest appearance of Kuroo, now with a surprise guest appearance of Oikawa
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-01
Updated: 2018-02-18
Packaged: 2018-11-21 21:52:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 9,550
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11366373
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rolly_chan/pseuds/Rolly_chan
Summary: It's the worst day in Bokuto's life, until he meets his soulmate.It's an awful day in Akaashi's life, but the impossible happens."There is no such thing as accident; it is fate misnamed."-Napoleon Bonaparte





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the summer challenge over at the 120_minutes LJ community.  
> The challenge was to write the same scene from two different perspectives.  
> It's supposed to be a one-shot, but I'm thinking about writing a continuation, so stay tuned lol

_05:35._  
  
It was totally a fluke, Koutarou _swears_. He never has such good luck in life, like, _ever_. Even though it all started with the greatest misery that ever happened to him.  
  
He’d lost his wallet.  
  
No, you don’t understand, losing his wallet is very tragic. He _needs_ it. Because inside this wallet, there’s his credit card, and he needs the credit card to pay his tuition fees, and he is totally screwed if he can’t pay those fees because he’ll be, once again, the family failure. So he prays to every god listening (and he hopes at least a few hundred are listening, because he needs all the help he can get) that he can, for once in his life, not be a disappointment to his family and find the goddamn wallet.  
  
He traces back his steps from the bank - because that’s where he noticed that his wallet is missing - up to the park he went through, and suddenly remembers that he totally met a few nice guys there that were playing with a volleyball and he had asked them to let him play with them, and probably, maybe, his wallet fell out of his pocket when he was playing.  
  
Being gripped by a sudden burst of energy, he rushes in the direction of the guys he had met, swiftly rounds a corner and -  
Sirens are blaring, white doves are flapping their wings and light is emanating from the ethereal creature standing in front of him. He feels a twinge on his wrist and looks down to his soulmate countdown.  
  
_00:00_. He had totally forgotten about his soulmate counter. That he’d meet his soulmate today. That it’d be soon after he was at the bank, only that he’d forgotten when he found that he had lost his wallet. How stupid of him.  
  
But this - this most beautiful being in existence looking down on him IS HIS SOULMATE.  
  
“SOULMATE!” he yells without meaning to, and then realizes how utterly embarrassing that is.  
  
The other man is frowning. No wonder, Koutarou must be embarrassing him as well. Oh, why, _why_ does he always have to ruin everything?  
  
“Uhm,” the other man utters, and it’s the most beautiful sound, the most beautiful melody, Koutarou has ever been allowed to hear. His heart melts and he can’t wipe the grin off his face, even though it’s all so embarrassing and awful.  
  
“Are you alright?” the man asks and offers Koutarou a hand, which Koutarou stares at for a brief moment, completely in awe. Then reminds himself that this is weird behavior, so he stops admiring the man’s long, elegant fingers, and takes the offered hand.  
He gets pulled to his feet easily, with a strength he first hadn’t noticed in his soulmate. Koutarou is enchanted.  
  
“Sorry for spacing out there! I’m Bokuto Koutarou, nice to meet you!” Koutarou tries to salvage what can be salvaged. He sure hopes his soulmate will forgive him simply by the fact that he’s his soulmate. That should work out, right?  
  
His soulmate doesn’t smile, but he bows in a formal greeting. “Akaashi Keiji, nice to meet you.”  
  
Koutarou’s skin is buzzing. His soulmate is so polite and so beautiful and so _good_ , the world is beautiful, the sky is the prettiest blue, the birds are chirping, he gains ten years to his life and his skin is purified.  
  
“So, uhm, you said I’m your soulmate? Your countdown-”  
  
“Yes! My countdown stopped too! Isn’t that wonderful! I felt the tell-tale twinge everyone is always talking about and it was right at the moment I bumped into you! Sorry, by the way! I hope I haven’t hurt you?!”  
  
This time, Akaashi smiles at him. It’s a tiny smile, but a smile nonetheless, and Koutarou counts it as a win. “I’m fine. You’re the one that fell down.”  
  
Koutarou laughs self-deprecatingly. “Yeah, sorry, I tend to rush sometimes. And this time it was because- OH SHIT!” he slaps his hand against his forehead. “I forgot I lost my wallet!”  
  
Akaashi frowns again, suddenly. “Hold on,” he says and rummages through his messenger bag. He fishes out a wallet that looks suspiciously like Koutarou’s.  
  
“Is this yours? I found it in the grass near the path over there,” Akaashi says, pointing to the patch of grass the guys and Koutarou had played volleyball.  
  
Koutarou tears up and Akaashi’s eyes widen. “Are you okay? Did I say something wrong?”  
  
But Koutarou can’t help himself, he doesn’t have the self-restraint anymore - he just grabs Akaashi and hugs him.  
“Our meeting must so have been fate! Aside from the soulmate stuff, I mean! You’re my hero!”  
  
Akaashi chuckles, and Koutarou doesn’t think he’s ever heard a more beautiful sound. This is so going to be the first of the best days in his life.  
  


 

* * *

  
  
_00:00_.  
  
Keiji looks at his countdown, tracing the zeros. He’s always known that he’s broken, like the countdown on his wrist that has always shown the same numbers for as long as he can remember. As far as he knows - it’s what his parents told him - he was born with it at zero, doomed to never find a soulmate and to end up alone and bitter.  
  
It was an accident, really. He never thought fate would be lenient with him, but here he is. Even though his day had started pretty badly. His girlfriend had asked him to come to this park - a neutral place, she’d called it - and told him she couldn’t stay with him.  
  
_“You’re not my soulmate, Keiji… and frankly, the past few weeks have been really hard with you. You’re so cold, it’s like you don’t even want to let me in.”_  
  
She had apologized and left, after Keiji had told her it’s okay and that he understands.  
  
He doesn’t understand. He doesn’t understand himself, either. He is trying, always has been trying, to still find someone to be with, even if it’s only for a little while, but apparently, it’s impossible for him. Because his girlfr- his ex-girlfriend is right. He can’t open up, he can’t let people in. It’s something he likes to ignore, but it’s something he knows is the truth. He wishes he could change it, but at this point in his life, he doesn’t really know how to.  
  
Then it happens. He starts walking away and sees something lying on the grass that looks like a wallet. So he walks over and picks it up. He debates with himself whether or not he should try to contact the person right away, but he decides against it, because he doesn’t have the energy for that right now. He just wants to go home - to his single room apartment, where he’s all alone - and wallow in self-pity.  
  
When he tries to do exactly that - go home - someone suddenly bumps into him and promptly falls back on his ass. Thankfully, Keiji is only pushed back half a step by the impact.  
  
The guy on the ground is nothing Keiji has ever seen. He has the strangest hair - gelled up and dyed black and silver - but he looks buff, strong muscles and thick, strong thighs, something which Keiji doesn’t expect from someone who dyes his hair like this. Then the stranger looks up at him and Keiji is transfixed by those very light brown eyes. In the first moment, they appear golden to Keiji.  
  
“Are you alright?” Keiji asks, but the other man doesn’t appear to hear it. He opens his mouth to ask him again, a bit louder this time, but the other beats him to it.  
  
“SOULMATE!” the stranger yells and a sharp sort of pain goes through his chest. He knows he heard the man clearly - because how could anyone misunderstand a word so clearly yelled? But Keiji is confused. His counter has been at zero all his life, how can this stranger claim that Keiji is his soulmate?  
  
“Uhm,” Keiji utters, deciding to ignore the stranger’s outburst and trying again, “Are you alright?”  
  
He offers the other man a hand to help him up, and he does notice the other hesitating for a second, but then he clasps their hands together and Keiji pulls him up.  
  
The man is bigger than Keiji and he has a smile that shines brighter than the sun and that makes Keiji feel drawn to him. Despite the clouds obscuring the sky and casting a gray layer over everything, this man in front of Keiji seems to shine brightly, unlike everything else around them.  
  
Keiji doesn’t believe in love at first sight, but he can’t deny that he feels a warmth spread in his stomach and the sudden desperate wish that it’s true, that he is this man’s soulmate.  
  
“Sorry for spacing out there! I’m Bokuto Koutarou, nice to meet you!”  
  
Keiji automatically bows in a greeting, as it has been drilled into him, and gives the standard response. “Akaashi Keiji, nice to meet you.”  
  
When he looks up again, he is immediately transfixed by those golden eyes again. They remind him of an owl. And even though he had decided just a moment ago that he would ignore that first outburst, he can’t stop himself from addressing it after all.  
  
“So, uhm, you said I’m your soulmate? Your countdown-” he starts, but the other man interrupts him, flailing and frantic.  
  
“Yes! My countdown stopped too! Isn’t that wonderful! I felt the tell-tale twinge everyone is always talking about and it was right at the moment I bumped into you! Sorry, by the way! I hope I haven’t hurt you?!”  
  
Keiji feels the corners of his mouth twitch. It’s like Bokuto wants to say so many things at once that he loses track of what he’s actually saying.  
  
“I’m fine. You’re the one that fell down.”  
  
Bokuto laughs, but there is a darkness reverberating in that laugh that Keiji doesn’t like.  
  
“Yeah, sorry, I tend to rush sometimes. And this time it was because- OH SHIT!” he slaps his hand against his forehead. “I forgot I lost my wallet!”  
  
Keiji frowns. It can’t be that the wallet he just found belongs to this man. But maybe, maybe it was fate, after all.  
  
“Hold on.” He fishes out the wallet he found on the grass, black and yellow, and offers it to Bokuto. “Is this yours? I found it in the grass near the path over there.”  
  
Keiji points towards the patch of grass where he found the wallet, at that time not thinking anything about it other than an inconvenience. How things can turn out to be so very different from what one expects them to be.  
  
Suddenly, there are tears in Bokuto’s eyes, and Keiji panics. Maybe this isn’t Bokuto’s wallet and he got his hopes up only for them to be crushed now. Or maybe he said something wrong. Keiji doesn’t want to be the one to make Bokuto cry. “Are you okay? Did I say something wrong?”  
  
Keiji expects a lot of things, but he doesn’t expect the bone-crushing hug Bokuto pulls him into. It’s Keiji’s first hug that is so intense, and he catalogs that feeling, hoping to never forget it, in case this will also be the last.  
  
“Our meeting must so have been fate! Aside from the soulmate stuff, I mean! You’re my hero!” Bokuto exclaims, still hugging Keiji.  
Keiji can’t explain the sudden rush of relief - like this is proof that it won’t be his last hug like this, from Bokuto - and he chuckles, hoping that it doesn’t sound as brittle as he feels.  
  
He hopes that Bokuto never finds out about Keiji’s countdown. He hopes that Bokuto won’t care. He hopes that this is the turn in his life he has always been too pessimistic to wish for. He hopes this will be the first of the best days in his life.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Keiji learns so many things about Bokuto. But of course he messes it all up with his lie.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to you all who left kudos and comments and who bookmarked <3 You all seriously give me more motivation to write this!  
> I've planned the story out roughly now, and it should be four chapters when I'm finished. This one's all in Akaashi's pov, next one will be Bokuto's =) Have fun with chapter two!

The first time they meet up after their fateful encounter Keiji doesn’t even think about his soulmate counter once.  
Bokuto is bright like the summer day they meet up on, and his presence is so strong that Keiji is swept up in it and in Bokuto’s forceful personality.  
  
He learns so many things about him. Bokuto’s hair is actually dyed white-grey with natural black streaks strewn between, starting from the base. He has a loud, deep voice, even when he’s speaking quietly. He has a big family, two younger sisters and two older siblings. He loves volleyball, math, animals (especially owls) and grilled meat. He is genuinely proud of and loves his family and friends. And he likes to talk, even though at the same time, it seems to be a nervous habit.  
  
Keiji’s heartbeat accelerates when Bokuto looks at him suddenly, his almost golden eyes focusing on Keiji with an intensity he has never seen before in anyone else.  
  
“Do you like owls?” he asks, looking so serious, and Keiji’s heart grows tight for a moment, before all the tension is released and he lets out a breathy laugh.  
  
“I guess.”  
  
He’s never thought about owls in terms of liking or disliking them, only ever as a fact of life - owls are a species of birds, and there was nothing else to it. When he’s with Bokuto, he finds that liking owls comes easy.  
  
Bokuto’s whole face lights up in delight and he chatters on all about owls as they pass underneath some cherry trees, their shadows never able to dim the glint in Bokuto’s eyes.  
  
_“Did you know a group of owls is called a parliament?”_  
_“Some owls even hunt fish!”_  
_“Owls can turn their heads up to two hundred and seventy degrees!”_  
  
Keiji didn’t think he’d ever learn so many new things in such a short time again. And yet, he still can’t figure Bokuto out.  
  
Bokuto has such an unpredictable, almost capricious nature that Keiji feels overwhelmed at first, then challenged. Because Bokuto doesn’t seem to operate like anybody else Keiji’s met. And he yearns to get to know Bokuto, the way he thinks, what drives him, what dissuades him, what makes him laugh and what makes him cry.  
  
Bokuto ends up walking Keiji home under the starlit night sky. It’s quiet, save for the occasional hum of cars passing by and the distant sounds of muffled party music. Though it is dark, Keiji can still make out the brilliant hues of Bokuto’s eyes, once again focused on Keiji.  
  
“Are you free next week?” Bokuto asks brightly and much too loudly for a quiet night like this, as if cutting right through the darkness with his words.  
  
“Yes, I’m free from Tuesday through Friday.” Keiji’s voice is much quieter. It rather feels to him like it’s almost indistinguishable from the relative silence around them.  
  
“Awesome!” Bokuto’s smile is wide and toothy. “Let’s meet again! How about on Tuesday?”  
  
Keiji agrees easily. It’s not like he has plans, so he might as well see Bokuto again. At least that’s what he tells himself so he doesn’t get too attached.  
  
_Stupid. You already are._  
  
Bokuto pulls him into another crushing hug, as suddenly as the last time, and Keiji just lets it happen, lets Bokuto bury him in his chest, like his favorite blanket. He smells like sweat, spice and something woody that he can’t identify.  
  
“G’night, Akaashi.”  
  
“Good night, Bokuto-san.”  
  
Bokuto lets Keiji go, but not without playfully bumping his fist against Keiji’s shoulder. “You’re so formal.”  
  
Keiji shrugs and Bokuto laughs before bidding him goodbye again, turning and walking down the street, the orange light of the street lamps flooding him. The picture has something soothing and calm about it that Keiji would love to capture with his camera, even though he knows the moment is fleeting and it’s already too late.  
  
It’s only after Bokuto waves at him enthusiastically before turning around the corner and disappearing into the night, that Keiji remembers the crushing truth.  
  
That he’s still broken, that his lie is still told.  
  
He wonders how long it will take for Bokuto to find out, for Keiji to slip up, because that’s how it always goes, doesn’t it? And then, inevitably, it will be over. If not for the fact that Keiji’s counter is all wrong, then for the fact that Keiji lied.  
  
Their relationship will be as fleeting as the picture of Bokuto walking through the night underneath the street lamps.

 

* * *

  
  
Keiji’s resolve to confess his lie to Bokuto crumbles when Bokuto picks him up with tears in his eyes.  
  
“What happened?”  
  
“ _Nothing!_ Just ignore me!” Bokuto almost yells, holding out his hand in a dramatic gesture and hiding his face in the crook of his other, bent arm.  
  
Keiji frowns and interlaces his fingers, suddenly not knowing what to do with his hands.  
  
“It’s a bit hard to ignore you when we have a date.”  
  
“Just don’t mind me! We should cancel our plans!” Bokuto is still not looking at Keiji, and it’s beginning to unnerve him. He’s never seen Bokuto like this. He’s never been held at a distance by Bokuto like this, and it scares him more than he wants to admit.  
  
Keiji takes a deep breath and tries to let go of his presuppositions and analyze the situation as he would always do. _Stay calm_. Bokuto has a sports bag hanging over his right shoulder and his sports jacket over a black shirt - which means he probably had volleyball training before.  
  
“Did your training not go well?” Keiji asks, almost murmurs, it’s so quiet. But Bokuto seems to have heard it. He finally turns his eyes on Keiji, looking - _really_ looking - at Keiji for the first time that day.  
  
“How… how do you know?”  
  
“I just assumed because of your attire.”  
  
Bokuto’s mood seems to be taking a turn for the better all of a sudden, and Keiji has no idea why. Bokuto’s eyes twinkle again, a sure sign that he’s at least beginning to feel happy.  
  
“You remember that stuff?” Bokuto asks sheepishly, as if he can’t quite believe that someone would do that.  
  
Keiji smiles. “Of course I do.”  
  
The hug Bokuto pulls Keiji into feels different this time. Tender and warm and not quite as bone-crushing, and Keiji actually has the room to hide his face in the crook of Bokuto’s neck and hug back. It should feel nice, but there’s an ache in Keiji’s chest that he can’t quite quench. He schools his features not to show anything of that and hopes that Bokuto won’t pick up on it.  
  
And Bokuto doesn’t. But the smile he gives Keiji is warm and it’s hard not to smile back, despite the ache.

 

* * *

  
  
To Keiji, Bokuto’s current emotional and mental state is incredibly easy to read. It’s like Bokuto is the proverbial open book, emoting whatever it is that he’s feeling at the very moment. But the thing about Bokuto is… anything can change his mental state in a heartbeat. He can go from happy exuberance to serious contemplation in-between two beats as if it’s nothing. And Keiji has a hard time predicting what will happen next.  
  
He has even begun to fill a notebook with all the observations he has made about Bokuto - just to know how to react, he tells himself - though it probably reads more like a list of strengths and weaknesses.  
  
_#6_ _: He loves to show off_  
  
Keiji can’t decide which category to assign to this one. He almost smiles to himself.  
  
The thing is, whenever he feels almost happy, he remembers.  
  
_You’re a liar._  
  
It’s twisting his heart and a heavy feeling settles in his stomach every time. And every time, he decides to tell Bokuto the truth, because it’d be the right thing to do, and it’d spare them both a lot of pain if they broke up earlier rather than later.  
  
But every time they meet, Keiji is disarmed by Bokuto’s sunshine smile and golden eyes that twinkle with so much life, and his conviction is blown away with the summer breeze. They never part without Bokuto pulling Keiji into his patented bone-crushing hug that never fails to surprise Keiji, even though he knows to expect it.  
  
Before he knows it, a month has passed and it’s September, bringing with it a cold wind and a burst of warm colors as the leaves begin to change.  
  
“Keiji, when are you introducing your new boyfriend to me?” Oikawa suddenly whines at him as he puts the tablet, now void of drinks, on the pile of empty tablets beside Keiji with a flourish. With all the guests served, Oikawa has apparently deemed it safe to slump down on the counter and prop his chin on his crossed arms, looking up at Keiji innocently and yet at the same time devilishly. Keiji still hasn’t figured out how Oikawa does it. To Keiji, he’s still a walking paradox. Probably because he has given up on looking through Oikawa’s dozen layers of complications and subtleties.  
  
“How do you know?” Keiji tries to find something else to do to escape Oikawa’s sharp eyes, but he has already cleaned the space behind the counter and is left with nothing to do but endure whatever has sparked Oikawa’s interest.  
  
“Ts ts ts, Keiji, do you even know me?” Oikawa berates him, grinning. “I see everything.”  
  
Keiji gives him a cold, unimpressed stare and Oikawa sighs loudly. “Fine, you’re no fun. I saw you with a hot, buff guy once. Weird hair, though.”  
  
Keiji shrugs. “Yeah.”  
  
At that, Oikawa perks up immediately. “Wow, Keiji, so soon after Chiharu?” Oikawa coos. “He’s fine with your counter?”  
  
Keiji doesn’t even bristle anymore at Oikawa’s intrusive questions. He guesses he got used to it. Oikawa would see through it anyway. He always sees through whatever Keiji tries to hide.  
  
“He thinks I’m his soulmate,” Keiji blurts out. The second it’s said, he wonders since when he is acting so spontaneously. It’s unlike him not to think things through before saying them.  
  
Oikawa is quiet for a beat too long for Keiji’s liking. “You don’t think you are?”  
  
“You know about my counter.”  
  
Oikawa’s eyes move down to Keiji’s wrist, then further down to his hands. “You’re doing it again.”  
  
Keiji stops fiddling with his fingers. He hasn’t even noticed he was doing it.  
  
“Your counter may have been at zero all your life… but _his_ counter apparently wasn’t.” Oikawa looks up and right into Keiji’s eyes. It’s like Oikawa sees right through him, scans him from top to bottom, from the surface to the deepest depth buried inside. It’s so unnerving that Keiji has to repress a shiver.  
  
“You mean…”  
  
Oikawa shrugs. “I remember how it felt. You don’t mistake the person it stops for. You just don’t.”  
  
Keiji looks down at his hands, leaning on the counter in order to stop his fiddling. He’s never thought about that, never thought to ask people who actually had their soulmate counter stop about how it feels, how they _know_.  
  
“You haven’t told him, have you?” Oikawa, once again, hits the mark so precisely it’s almost inhuman. The worst thing is the way he looks at Keiji, as if he understands. But Keiji doesn’t deserve his understanding. Oikawa should judge him, harshly. But Oikawa has never done what anyone wanted him to do if he didn’t want to do it himself.  
  
“No.”  
  
“You think he’ll reject you, huh.” Oikawa gets back up and stretches. “You know what your problem is?”  
  
Keiji glares at him in response.  
  
“You overthink things.”  
  
“You, of all people, really shouldn’t be the one telling me that.”  
  
Oikawa grins his devilish smile again. “I, of all people, _should_ be the _only_ one to tell you that! Because I _know_.”  
  
With that, Oikawa winks at him and leaves for his tables, where one of the guests calls for him right at the moment he turns around. As if Oikawa has a sixth sense for things like that.  
  
Keiji sighs. He guesses Oikawa is right. He should finally tell his secret.  
  
He just wishes he could believe what Oikawa said as easily as getting lost in the whirlwind that is Bokuto.

 

* * *

 

_Srry can’t make it,_ is what Bokuto’s message reads.  
  
Keiji messed up. He knows he did. How could letting Bokuto believe they are in the same situation be anything but a huge, unforgivable mistake?  
  
_Stay calm_ , he tells himself. Rationally, it does not make any sense that Bokuto found out about Keiji’s lie. Rationally, it’s more likely that Bokuto really just couldn’t make it because he forgot about some other plans or something similar - that would be like Bokuto. Rationally, Keiji knows that there is no sense in worrying.  
  
But he still can’t quite shake off that prophetic feeling of an impending break-up.  
  
Because it’s very unlike Bokuto not to use any smileys or emojis or to cancel his plans with Keiji so late. Keiji is already at their destination - the little owl café Bokuto found and that they have been visiting almost every week.  
  
Suddenly, he feels a little silly standing here in the sun all alone, waiting for no one. Suddenly, the people walking past appear to be looking at him, judging him, and Keiji turns in order to walk back to the station and not to look like an idiot, standing around doing nothing, but the door to the owl café opens and Kanae, a waitress Bokuto and Keiji already know by name for how many times they’ve already visited, peers out.  
  
“Akaashi-kun, don’t you want to come wait inside?” she asks innocently, not knowing that Bokuto won’t come.  
  
Keiji doesn’t know what to say. He blinks at Kanae a few times, trying to gather his wits about him.  
  
“Bokuto-san just texted me. He won’t make it. I guess we’ll have to postpone our visit this time.”  
  
His voice does not shake, he does not look down at his soulmate counter, does not fiddle with his hands. But he does not feel in control either, despite that.  
  
“Oh, okay. Say ‘hi’ to Bokuto for me, will you?” She smiles at Keiji with a smile he knows only too well. It’s the same one he wears when he’s working and one of his guests tells him about some mishap, something Keiji always finds trivial. The same way Kanae probably finds this situation trivial.  
  
Keiji tries smiling back, then nods in farewell and flees.

 

* * *

  
  
Keiji tries texting Bokuto several times for the next three days, but Bokuto always replies late, without any smileys and always curtly. It feels like he’s being short with Keiji, like it’s a hassle to reply to him. It feels like rejection.  
  
But Keiji is prepared. He knew it was going to end this way from the beginning. He’s not going to lose it, the same way he never lost it with all the people that came before Bokuto.  
  
“What’s up with you today? This is the third wrong drink now, Keiji,” Oikawa observes as he puts a latte back on the table, eying Keiji sharply, as if trying to read even deeper into him. “Trouble in paradise?”  
  
Keiji flinches involuntarily. “I’m fine,” he says and promptly knocks over the carton of milk beside him with his hand. He curses under his breath and quickly picks it up again, then dives for the kitchen paper closest to him and mops up the milk. When he gets back behind the register, Oikawa is already staring him down. “Uh-huh, I can see that.”  
  
Keiji sighs. “I guess you were wrong. He’s rejecting me.”  
  
Oikawa narrows his eyes at him as if in deep thought. “Do you really think so? What if you’re misinterpreting his behavior?”  
  
Keiji looks down at his hands, like last time, only that this time, he’s not stopping himself from fiddling with his fingers. “He usually _always_ uses smiley, emojis… he doesn’t use them anymore when he replies to me. He canceled our date five minutes before the appointed time. I don’t know how to interpret that other than that he’s had enough.”  
  
“Oh shit,” he hears Oikawa mutter quietly, then Oikawa looks around, assesses the surroundings - there are four tables occupied, not a lot of people left since it’s only half an hour to closing time - and looks back at Keiji. “Can you keep those tears down for now?”  
  
Keiji frowns at him and finds that his vision has become a little blurry. He hadn’t even noticed that he’s teared up. How stupid of him. Even though he was prepared.  
  
“Fuck,” Oikawa hisses out, rushes over to the other side of the counter, to Keiji, and leads him into the kitchen that is adjacent to the area behind the counter.  
  
Keiji is trying to stem those tears, swallow them somehow, but his vision remains blurry. He grits his teeth and tilts his head back, looks up with wide-open eyes, and it works. The tears don’t fall, recede slowly, until he can breathe normally again.  
  
“Right, that’s better,” Oikawa says and almost pierces Keiji with his stare. “You’ve got it bad for him, huh.”  
  
It was the wrong thing to say. It was the wrong thing to say and the tears fall so suddenly Keiji didn’t even feel them coming until they are already out. He’s brushing them away with the backs of his hands, but only accomplishes smearing the tears all over his face until everything feels wet and salty. He tries to reassure Oikawa that he’ll be fine, but he hiccups instead, having completely lost control over his throat. He feels Oikawa’s hand on his shoulder and hears softly spoken words and is guided towards the back and down on the small mini-ladder currently repurposed as a chair.  
  
“Hey, hey, Keiji, it’s okay. Here, take this,” Oikawa presses a napkin into Keiji’s hand which he immediately presses against his eyes until the tears finally stop, leaving Keiji feeling brittle and weak, and like the world is a little shaky.  
  
“Okay, so, you stay put. Let me handle the rest, okay?” Oikawa smiles down at him reassuringly and Keiji just nods. He knows he’s not in any position to get back out there. His eyes are probably too red and his nose too snotty. He’s glad that Oikawa is so competent at everything he does. He wishes he could be as competent with relationships. _No_ , he thinks, _it’d be enough if I were competent at handling Bokuto._  
  
Time has a weird, liquid quality suddenly. Keiji isn’t sure how much time passes until Oikawa is back with him. Oikawa takes one look at him and shakes his head. “Go home.”  
  
“What? I can’t l-”  
  
“Go home, I tell you. When people give you an easy way out, you take it, Keiji. Have I taught you nothing?” Oikawa winks at him and pulls him up swiftly, then drags him out of the kitchen. All the guests are gone, so it must be past closing hours.  
  
“Are you sure?” Keiji already feels bad about his outburst. He doesn’t want to feel worse for leaving Oikawa with all the clean-up work.  
  
Oikawa, however, just rolls his eyes. “Positive. Now get lost before I have to throw you out.”  
  
Keiji wants to think that Oikawa will never know how grateful he is for this. But Oikawa has probably already read that from the expression on his face. This is one of the few times Keiji is glad Oikawa can read people so well.  
  
It’s already dark outside and only a handful people pass Keiji under the lamp lights. The world doesn’t feel quiet like in the novels Keiji read - it’s never really quiet in Tokyo. But he still feels so isolated. He feels the most isolated from Bokuto, who suddenly feels miles and miles away.  
  
His phone buzzes and Keiji flinches. _Stupid, it_ _’s not Bokuto. He hasn’t initiated any texting for the past three days._  
  
He still pulls his phone out eagerly, unable to convince himself of his irrationality. Only to get proved wrong, because the name appearing on his screen is Bokuto’s.  
  
For a breathless moment Keiji just stares. Then he unlocks the screen with shaking hands.  
  
_Akaashi!! Sorry for not writing much!!! <(_ _)> I forgot there was a training camp and then Kuroo invited me over!_  
  
For a brief moment, Keiji feels like the whole world stops spinning, holds its breath, and with its release, he feels the huge mountain of a weight lift off his chest. He feels so relieved that he can’t stop the breathless laughter slipping past his lips.  
  
His phone buzzes again with another message from Bokuto.  
  
_Are you free tomorrow?_  
  
Keiji wipes his hand over his face before looking down at the screen again.  
  
_You need a personal organizer,_ he types, _Yes, I_ _’m free. Meet me at the owl café at 5?_  
  
Bokuto’s reply comes faster than lightning, and Keiji feels light again.  
  
_YES!!! SEE YA_ _＼_ _(_ _＾▽＾_ _)_ _／_  
  
Keiji takes a deep breath and makes his resolve. Next time, at the owl café, he will tell Bokuto, come what may. He’s still afraid, still scared so much, but he wants this to work out, he wants _them_ to work out, because Bokuto is the best person that could have walked into Keiji’s life. With Bokuto, Keiji feels so alive, and he wants it to last.  
  
At that moment, Keiji decides to fight for it. Something he’s probably never done before.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Koutarou is confused. As far as he can tell, there are only two options: either Akaashi wants to dump him, or he doesn't believe in soulmates and wants to dump him, both of which end with the same tragedy, namely Koutarou being dumped. He really isn't sure he wants to face that quite yet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so, things didn't go according to plan because real life knows how to throw punches lol  
> But! I finally finished! It's not edited, though, because I wanted to give it to y'all as soon as I could.  
> This time it's Bokuto's pov. Enjoy! :D

Koutarou wants to turn around and run away. It’s his _soulmate_ and he was so stupid to stand him up. How _fucking_ stupid. And now it’s five minutes to five and Koutarou’s almost at the owl café, just needs to make it to the corner and turn right, but all he wants to do is turn around and go back home because his heart is thumping heavily against his chest and his whole body is shaking.  
  
A passerby bumps into his shoulder and Koutarou jumps, though doesn’t acknowledge the other guy’s quick apology.  
  
He stops. Turns around. Makes a step.  
  
_No, you can’t stand him up_ again _. He’s your_ soulmate _!_  
  
He shakes his head and turns back around. Takes a deep breath, breathes in the fresh air with its distinct smell after a shower of rain, and allows himself to look up into the grey, overcast sky.  
  
He takes another deep breath, then moves forward and turns the corner - and sees Akaashi standing in front of the owl café, looking up into the sky himself, like Koutarou only moments before.  
  
Koutarou feels his heart sink. Akaashi will be _mad_ at him. Who wouldn’t be after being stood up like that? Koutarou once again ruined everything, and it was going so well before.  
  
He stops, torn between turning around again and facing his fate. He bites his lower lip, tenses his muscles in his arms, and then slowly lets go of it all, takes a deep breath again and lets the air out through his mouth, straightens up and marches head-first into whatever mess he’s made.  
  
Akaashi spots him before he arrives and the corner of Akaashi’s mouth quirks, as if in a smile. At least Koutarou is pretty sure it’s meant to be a smile. When Koutarou comes to a stop in front of him, however, the quirk quivers and disappears again.  
  
“Bo-” — “Akaashi! I’m so SORRY!”  
  
Koutarou puts his hands in front of his face, palm to palm as if in prayer. “Please forgive me for not telling you sooner that I couldn’t make it! I swear, it wasn’t on purpose! I totes forgot!”  
  
Akaashi is quiet for a moment, then that quirk comes back, and Koutarou is _sure_ it’s supposed to be a smile. “That’s okay, Bokuto-san. I’m- I mean…” He takes a deep breath. “I need to tell you something.”  
  
Koutarou slowly lowers his hands, while restless dread settles in his stomach. He’s unable to say anything, but apparently, Akaashi doesn’t need him to. He looks into Koutarou’s eyes and the seconds that go by make Koutarou even more nervous.  
  
“I’m sorry for not telling you this right from the start… I really am. I just thought-” Akaashi looks down and starts fiddling with his fingers. Koutarou has noticed that Akaashi tends to do that when he feels uncomfortable. It’s a really bad sign. Koutarou doesn’t know what to do, he’s scared.  
  
Akaashi says something, and Koutarou is pretty sure he knows all the words and knows what those words mean strung together. But he still doesn’t really comprehend what Akaashi just said.  
  
“What?”  
  
Akaashi looks at him again, though his eyes jump around until they settle somewhere to the right of Koutarou’s face. “You’re not my soulmate,” he repeats.  
  
This time, the words make sense. Koutarou isn’t sure he wants them to, though.  
  
“You mean… we’re not…? But I felt the…” Koutarou starts but he doesn’t really know what he actually wants to say. He knows that he feels confused and hurt and also unsure about how to feel. He just doesn’t know how to say it.  
  
Akaashi says something again, Koutarou thinks, but he blinks and nothing is parsing.  
  
“I don’t understand…” Koutarou blurts, even though he doesn’t really intend to. He can feel how his own eyes are open wide. He must look stupid, like a deer caught in the headlights.  
  
“I think I need to go and calm down, okay?” Koutarou says and belatedly notices how Akaashi’s jaw snaps shut. He also notices how Akaashi seems tense, how his face scrunches up as if he wants to disagree. But then Akaashi just sighs.  
  
“Okay.”  
  
“I- uh, I’ll just… I’ll text you.”  
  
In a daze, Koutarou walks past Akaashi first, then realizes he’s walking in the wrong direction, turns around and-  
  
He’s in front of the apartment he shares with his best friend, but he doesn’t remember how he came back. Confused and a little alarmed, Koutarou wonders what else he didn’t notice on the way here. He checks his arms and legs for injuries - because it’s a likely possibility he somehow hurt himself on the way without noticing (it happened in the past) - but luckily, he doesn’t find any.  
  
Then he realizes that he must look very stupid just standing around in front of his apartment. People will surely think he’s a freak or a creep or something. The problem is, Koutarou kind of forgot how to open the door, his nerves are so shot.  
  
“Bo?”  
  
He whirls around, arms flailing, until his eyes land on his best friend, who’s looking at him with a puzzled expression.  
  
“Kuroo!”  
  
“What are you doing here? I thought you had a date with your soulmate? Did you get the day wrong?” Kuroo comes up to the door and, lucky for Koutarou, pulls out the keys and opens up.  
  
“Well…” Koutarou starts, follows Kuroo inside and then kind of follows him like a lost puppy. He feels very stupid.  
  
“Bro, what’s wrong? You’re kinda not yourself today.” Kuroo narrows his eyes at Koutarou, in contemplation, because that’s what Kuroo always does when he is contemplating. At least when he’s looking at Koutarou and contemplating.  
  
“I’m confused?”  
  
Kuroo raises his eyebrows. “About what?”  
  
“Akaashi said I’m not his soulmate?”  
  
Kuroo blinks at him, then blinks again. “Hot damn.”  
  
“But how?” Koutarou still doesn’t understand how that works. He is very sure he felt the tell-tale twinge and his soulmate countdown went to zero when he met Akaashi. No one else was around at that time - at least not close enough. Koutarou can’t have mistaken his own soulmate, can he? And why hasn’t Akaashi said anything before, then?  
  
“Bo!” Kuroo suddenly almost yells and Koutarou flinches.  
  
“You’re not listening again, bro. Try to focus.”  
  
Koutarou nods and looks straight into Kuroo’s eyes. They tend to focus him a little when he’s distracted. It’s a nice trick.  
  
“Listen. I’m not sure what that Akaashi guy is pulling, but I know for a fact that it’s impossible to mistake your soulmate. You know how it was for me, right? You know that it was the same for literally everybody else you know who’s already found their soulmate. If you felt the twinge and your countdown went down, it’s him.” Kuroo’s hands are on Koutarou’s shoulders and he doesn’t remember when they got there. He’s glad about it, though, because he feels a little faint.  
  
“You’re right. He’s my soulmate. But I don’t understand…”  
  
“Listen. I really don’t know what the fuck is wrong with that Akaashi guy, but maybe there was just some miscommunication? Or he was brainwashed into believing soulmates are humbug, who knows what kinds of people he associates with.” Kuroo pats his right shoulder and grins at him. Koutarou thinks he might be right. Kuroo is smart, he should know what’s up better than Koutarou.  
  
“Right.”  
  
“You should talk to the guy. Or dump him.”  
  
“I should talk to him?” Koutarou isn’t so sure Kuroo is right anymore. He doesn’t feel like talking to Akaashi, because he knows he’s still scared. Too scared. It’s like there’s a blanket of anxiety over him that he can’t get rid of.  
  
Kuroo narrows his eyes at Koutarou again and seems to be coming to some sort of conclusion. “Guess you can wait with the talking till tomorrow at least. Get some rest, calm down a bit. Let’s watch a movie or something.”  
  
Koutarou doesn’t know if watching a movie will help, but he definitely knows that he himself _doesn’t_ know what could help, so he lets Kuroo guide him for now. At the very least, he knows that Kuroo is the bestest best friend he could ever wish for. He clings to that thought and tries not to focus too much on his anxiety. It doesn’t work, but it’s a start.  
  
“Okay.”

 

* * *

  

“Out!”  
  
Koutarou’s in front of the net, sweat making his shirt stick to his skin, watching the volleyball bounce away from the court and one of the players on the other side running after it. Smashing the ball to the ground outside of the court doesn’t matter. Nothing matters.  
  
Akaashi not texting him for the past two days is the only thing that matters.  
  
“Bokuto!” his trainer barks and Koutarou flinches before dragging himself towards him.  
  
“What is it with you today?”  
  
Koutarou stutters some gibberish in reply.  
  
“Go sit out on the bench and get a grip on yourself.”  
  
Koutarou’s heart sinks. “But, Hagiwara-sensei-”  
  
“No ‘buts’. Go gather yourself, then come back.”  
  
Koutarou bites down hard on his lip and balls his hands into fists. He opens his mouth to argue, but a hand landing hard on his shoulder stops him.  
  
“C’mon, Bo, you need a time-out.” Kuroo drags him to the bench and pushes Koutarou down to sit.  
  
“It’s unfair!” bursts out of him and he sends Hagiwara-sensei’s back a glare for good measure.  
  
“I know, but you’re not yourself, bro.”  
  
Koutarou sighs and all the fight leaves him. “Still no message.”  
  
“Bro, I’m the first to shit on anyone who hurts you, ‘cause I’m a good bro, but this time I can’t. You promised him to text first.”  
  
Koutarou nods along. It makes sense. He _had_ said he’d text. Akaashi’s probably just giving him space. Or something.  
  
“Or, you could dump him,” Kuroo adds, but Koutarou isn’t listening. Kuroo might think he’s provoking Koutarou by saying the opposite of what Koutarou wants, but  he’s aware of that. He’s not _always_ stupid.  
  
“I have to text him,” Koutarou says and shudders.   
  
He’s even done some thinking on it. If Koutarou isn’t Akaashi’s soulmate, there’s no reason for Akaashi to want to stay with Koutarou. Being Akaashi’s soulmate is his only redeeming quality, after all.  
  
If Koutarou _is_ Akaashi’s soulmate, but Akaashi just doesn’t believe in soulmates, it’s the same situation. There’d be no reason for Akaashi to want him. And Koutarou isn’t brave. He’s scared. He’s already so in love, because Akaashi’s just that perfect. And the sooner they talk, the sooner Akaashi might break up with him.  
  
“Bro, you really should.”  
  
Koutarou groans and hides his face in his hands.  
  
“You think he wants to dump me?”  
  
Kuroo is quiet for a moment, so Koutarou looks up. Kuroo’s eyebrows are raised hight and his eyes narrowed.  
  
“Dude, he texted you a dozen times, even though you stood him up. You really think someone about to dump you would do that?”  
  
Koutarou mulls it over. His own replies probably seemed weird to Akaashi, especially since he’d been so stupid not to tell where he was. And Akaashi did say it’s okay. In fact, Akaashi didn’t seem bothered by Koutarou’s slip-up, more by what he himself had to say.  
  
“Bro, you’re right.”  
  
Kuroo grins. “Of course I am. I’m always right.”  
  
Koutarou really hopes that’s true, this time.

 

* * *

 

Koutarou feels his hands tremble a little and hides them under his thighs. It’s not the most comfortable place for them, since the black leather couch isn’t exactly soft, but it has to do.  
  
It kinda fits Akaashi, though, to have a black leather couch. It’s weird to be here, inside Akaashi’s apartment, for the first time, when they’re not on good terms. No, that’s not quite right. They aren’t on bad terms. They’re just… on weird terms.  
  
Akaashi comes back in into the living room, drinks in hand, and sits down on the armchair to the side of the couch, facing Koutarou.  
It’s been Akaashi’s suggestion to meet at his place, and Kuroo has assured Koutarou that it’s a very good sign. But all the reassurance doesn’t really help _now_.  
  
Koutarou gratefully grabs his glass of water and takes a few gulps, just to do something.  
  
“You wanted to talk?” Akaashi’s quiet and calm voice floats over to him and Koutarou straightens up, puts his glass back on the table. It’s strange how he feels calmer just from hearing Akaashi’s voice again.  
  
“Yeah. I’m still confused. Kuroo said I couldn’t have mistaken you for my soulmate… so you _have_ to be it. But you say we’re not?”  
  
Akaashi looks down into his own glass. He’s clutching it tight in his hands, though it looks like he’s not aware of it. “So it’s true, huh. People don’t mistake their soulmates?”  
  
It sounds like a question, and yet not like one Akaashi needs an answer to, because he already knows.  
  
“Yeah, that’s how it is for everyone.”  
  
Akaashi frowns suddenly. He looks unhappy, and Koutarou really doesn’t like that look.  
  
“Not for everyone.” Akaashi looks back up, and for a moment, Koutarou is afraid he won’t look him in the eyes again. But Akaashi does.  
  
“I may be your soulmate, but I’ve never had one, and never will.”  
  
Akaashi takes a deep breath, closes and opens his eyes, and even though Koutarou wants to say something, wants to argue, to disagree, he waits patiently, because he can see that Akaashi needs to say something important that is hard for him to say.  
  
“My counter has been at zero all my life, Bokuto-san. I can’t have a soulmate.”  
  
Koutarou feels speechless, though that doesn’t mean he _is_.  
  
“What?”  
  
Akaashi repeats it, and all of Koutarou’s careful considerations fly out the window.  
  
“But- but that’s terrible!”  
  
Akaashi smiles at him, but it looks pained. In that moment, Koutarou makes a decision he’s very proud of, though not completely aware of yet.  
  
“I didn’t tell you because you were so… bright. When I’m with you, everything seems so much better… and I didn’t want it to be over.”  
Akaashi looks down again, fiddles with his fingers around the glass. He looks so fragile, is what Koutarou thinks in that moment. Then what Akaashi said registers.  
  
“So… you’re saying you actually want to be with me, even though I’m not your soulmate?” Koutarou’s heart is jumping and his pulse is racing. In cautious excitement.  
  
Akaashi’s head snaps up. He looks surprised, but still, he says, “Yes.”  
  
“Why?”  
  
The corners of Akaashi’s mouth pull down in a frown, as if he doesn’t understand something. “This might seem a bit rash and bold of me, considering the situation, but… I love you.”  
  
His voice sounds faint and brittle and so vulnerable. Koutarou doesn’t doubt him for a second, but he still has to ask. “You love me…?”  
  
His heart is melting through his bones and his soul is leaving his body in delight - at least that’s what it feels like, because he can’t believe this turn of events to be so amazing. It’s like a dream.  
  
“Yes, I do.”  
  
“Really?” Koutarou know he sounds too eager, but he can’t stop himself from asking, or from shifting forward to the edge of the couch. He can’t take his eyes off Akaashi’s face, and he could listen to Akaashi saying he loves him all day, he swears.  
  
And Akaashi is smiling his little sile again, the genuine one, and Koutarou wants to kiss it.  
  
“Yes, I’m in love with you.”  
  
“I love you too!” bursts out of Koutarou, unbidden, but he would have blurted it anyway. He feels his grin pulling at the corners of his mouth, wider than ever.  
  
“I was afraid you might not.”  
  
A surge of indignation courses through Koutarou. “ _How_? You’re _perfect_!”  
  
Akaashi still fiddles with his fingers, but he doesn’t look nervous. “Because you’re not my soulmate.”  
  
Koutarou thinks he understands what Akaashi means, but he will probably never accept that reasoning, not now that his decision manifests itself consciously to him.  
  
“Well, you’re still mine, and if you love me too, I see no problem! Screw fate!”  
  
Akaashi’s smile broadens. “Screw fate,” he agrees, and Koutarou’s never been happier. There’s only a tiny little thing that’d be the cherry on top.  
  
“Now you only have to drop the formalities and everything’s perfect!” Koutarou is pretty sure Akaashi would do that for him, at least now, after all the emotional talk.  
  
He doesn’t expect Akaashi to exceed all his expectations with a smile and a tender, “Koutarou.”

 


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I am so so sorry for this last chapter to come so late OTL I had it finished yesterday and wanted to edit it today and then post it, but I'm sick (probs the flu) and I've been staring and re-reading it for the past hour and my brain hasn't supplied anything useful and only made me doubt every tense use in every single sentence. So I've decided to post it completely unedited. I am sorry. I hope it's still readable! 
> 
> On another, much happier note: Thank you all SO SO MUCH for all the awesome comments, kudos, bookmarks and even subscriptions <3 You guys rock, you're the best, I s2g, and I'm love you. It gave me the motivation to finish this after university and life in general was kicking my ass. Thank u <3
> 
> Edit: just a minor one about the timestamps. Hopefully, now it's clearer that they're showing the current time in the story! Sorry about the confusion!

_23:45 p.m._

Keiji is late. He _knew_ he should have insisted on leaving earlier and not taking the last train. His mother would have understood. Probably. Maybe.

But now it’s too late to regret it. What’s done is already done. But even though he knows he shouldn’t be and usually isn’t brooding over what’s past, this is somehow different. He’d promised to be there before midnight. He’d promised _Koutarou._ And he can only imagine what Koutarou must be thinking at that moment.

At least there aren’t that many people on the train anymore, meaning that Keiji at least doesn’t feel like a sardine in a can. He quickly pulls out his phone and types out a message to Koutarou.

_23:51 p.m._

_I’m on the last train. Will be late, sorry._

Keiji leans back and lets his head fall softly against the window behind him, trying to ignore the smell of beer and the dim orange light. He snuggles into his scarf and closes his eyes. It’s strange, how today feels different and yet so much like the routine they’ve been gradually building over the past few months. Keiji always visits Koutarou on his days off, and Koutarou has started to pick him up from his late shifts at work about a month ago. It’s unnecessary, but very chivalrous and incredibly sweet (so sweet, in fact, that Oikawa had made gagging noises and called them out on their sweetness). Keiji smiles at the memory.

_23:56 p.m._

The train stops and Keiji hurries outside into the winter cold. Thankfully, there is no snow, so Keiji takes off jogging down the path to Koutarou’s apartment. He had memorized it the second time he went there and by now he doesn’t think he’ll ever forget. There are the same street lights here as there are at Keiji’s place, and the way they illuminate the street reminds him of the time he watched Koutarou leave after walking Keiji home. He remembers how wistful he’d been then, how pessimistic, and kind of wishes he could tell his past self that everything would be alright.

But then again, his past self would find out soon enough.

_12:00 a.m._

Keiji can’t believe he’s almost made it in time when he rings the bell at exactly midnight, a little out of breath and sweaty under his coat. He’s a little surprised when the door opens immediately, but Keiji takes it in stride and lets himself into the building and takes the stairs up to the second floor, only to find Koutarou out in the corridor, apparently waiting for him.

He begins to smile, but when he stops in front of Koutarou, he notices his red eyes, and frowns.

 

* * *

 

_12:01 a.m._

Koutarou can’t say for sure what his feelings are doing. All he knows is that his whole body stings all over, and that his vision is blurry   and his eyes sting even more than his body does. He knows he shouldn’t be overthinking things, and he’s not sure he _is_ overthinking things, but he can’t help how his body is reacting. It just does.

And Keiji in front of him looks so concerned with his furrowed brow, looking right into Koutarou’s eyes. In the next moment, there’s a hand on his shoulder, soft but a firm weight, and Koutarou immediately focuses a little more on Keiji, a little less on all the sensations.

“Koutarou? What’s the matter?”

“I don’t know?” He keeps trying to pressure the tears back, but it just ends up giving him the beginning of a headache.

Akaashi’s frown doesn’t ease, and Koutarou wonders if he can smooth out the furrows with his fingers.

“Let’s go back inside first, okay?”

“Yeah.”

Keiji has the best ideas. Because Koutarou forgot they are outside. And really, how can you forget something like that? Isn’t that incredibly stupid?

Just like letting the cake burn that he so carefully made for Keiji. And making a mess in the kitchen. And Kuroo hasn’t even been there to help him get rid of the evidence before it was too late. And now Keiji is going to see what a loser Koutarou really is.

_12:05 a.m._

Koutarou is somehow sitting on the couch in the living room. He doesn’t remember how he got there. But he remembers Keiji’s hand on his arm, because it’s been a steady weight all this time.

“What happened, Kou?” Keiji is using his pet name. That means he isn’t mad. But he probably hasn’t seen the mess in the kitchen yet, so of course he isn’t mad yet.

“I just wanted your birthday to be perfect!” Koutarou finally cries, then hides his face in his hands.

Then he hears a chuckle, and tentatively peeks out from between his fingers at Keiji.

“Is this about the burnt cake I can smell?” Keiji asks with a small smile at the corner of his mouth. He’s still not mad, despite the cake. Despite the chaos.

“You’re not mad?”

Keiji frowns. “Why would I be? You wanted to make my birthday special. It’s the thought that counts.” Keiji is smiling fully now and Koutarou once again doesn’t know what his feelings are doing, because suddenly, his whole body is tingling in a good way, instead of stinging.

“Really?”

“Of course. You put in all this effort and then got upset because you burned the cake. That just shows me how much you care about me.”

“I do, so much!”

Keiji is chuckling again, and it’s the best sound that’s ever graced the whole wide world. “I love you too, Kou.”

Koutarou deems it safe to kiss him, so he does. Keiji’s lips feel dry and chapped from the cold, so Koutarou brushes his tongue over them, and then he just can’t contain all the emotions he’s feeling, presses in, and Keiji lets him. Let’s him pull Keiji closer, press him into the couch and brush his hand over Keiji’s cheek, his jaw, down his neck. Koutarou relishes in the little sigh that escapes Keiji. He can’t imagine spending his time better than this right now.

_12:14 a.m._

When they come back up for air, faces still close and breaths mingling, Keiji looks perfect. With his hair mussed, lips kiss-swollen and eyes a little bit glazed. Koutarou is once again amazed that he’s done that. That he’s made Keiji content like that. He wants to make Keiji this content every day, for the rest of their lives.

“Happy birthday!” Koutarou says a little belatedly, and the happy smile Keiji gives him is so sweet that he wants to burn it into his memory forever. He guesses he’ll just have to make Keiji smile like that as often as he can, so he won’t have to remember it.

“You know, we still have the whole day to make it a great one,” Keiji finally says and gives Koutarou a little peck on the lips before disentangling himself and helping Koutarou off the couch. “Let’s go to bed for now, I’m tired.”

Koutarou grins brightly and is actually the one who pulls Keiji to the bedroom, tugging on his hand, their fingers intertwined and warm. Koutarou thinks Keiji is right. There’s a whole day ahead for them to make the most of. And Koutarou is so going to show Keiji exactly how much he loves him.

Today. And every day after that.

**Author's Note:**

> This story is part of **[the LLF Comment Project](https://longlivefeedback.tumblr.com/llfcommentproject),** whose goal is to improve communication between readers and authors.  
>  This author invites:
> 
>   * Short comments
>   * Long comments
>   * Questions
>   * "<3" as extra kudos
> 

> 
> [LLF Comment Builder](https://longlivefeedback.tumblr.com/post/170952243543/now-presenting-the-llf-comment-builder-beta)
> 
> This author replies to comments.


End file.
